Obeah

The number of Jamaicans who really don't believe in
Obeah could probably fit on a few Tour buses.
The majority believes in this samfie.

Obeah is NOT a holdover of an African religion.
No Obeah man/woman can call the names of the African
"Obi" (gods) from which the name 'Obeah' arises.

No Jamaican can explain the connection between one
thing and another...because no Jamaican knows it
or cares to know anything beyond...Where da money dere?

The first time I actually slammed into this insanity
was when I was registrar of Gun Court and was requested
by the Judge to contact a lawyer who was absent.

The Lawyer, an excellent practitioner told me the people
hadn't paid even half his fees.

I stood on the veranda and asked who was there for
(name of the accused) and a portly woman pushed up
and I told her that she better pay her lawyer so
he comes to court.

Subsequently the lawyer arrived and within a few
minutes disposed of the case as the evidence in
the police statement was incredibly weak.

The man, who had spent months in custody was
released, (he would have been released on day
one if his mother had actually paid a lawyer
to attend).

I went outside seeing the mother in ecstasy
and she was exclaiming; "Him good, him good..."
to which I mentioned that the lawyer was known
to be very good.

She wasn't talking about the lawyer
she was talking about her Obeah man.

I said; "Yeah, man, he was the only one who
could keep a man in custody for eight months."

This woman had paid xyz thousands to some semi-
literate obeah man, and had to be forced to
pay x to the lawyer.

A few weeks later a man was shot dead at the
Gun Court when he went to walk out.

Although the police and warders called 'Halt'
he didn't stop because he had on his
'Invisibility Ring' his people had gotten
from 'Mother Campbell'.

Later the deceased's family went to Mother
Campbell's balm yard to get back their money.
The police had to be called to disperse them.

Most recently, my idiot neighbour started to
keep pigeons to protect him from 'Obeah.'

Despite telling him of the 30 different fatal
diseases pigeons carry, he didn't listen.
He got sick.

I told his wife to tell the doctor that he
kept pigeons.
She didn't.

When he came home on the usual furlough before
death, I told him to tell the doctors he kept
pigeons.

He smiled that depreciating way, because I was
too ignorant to understand.

I didn't go to his funeral.
Nor will I go to the one of his wife.

Now does any one wonder why Jamaicans are so
easily confused?